Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
