I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
