chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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