I want to stick my p in your. b.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
