Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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