I feel like abortions should bother me more
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
