my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
