I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
