Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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