Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
