omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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