So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
