you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I enjoy the company of your penis
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
