since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
