Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
