Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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