white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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