ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
