I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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