so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I need a burrito and a hug.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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