found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
