and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
