You're completely useless in the revolution.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Randomize
