It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
