She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
BRING THE BAGELS
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
