Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
