Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
my being single is dangerous.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
