I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
she pinky promised me she was 18
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
