Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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