i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
