apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
