I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
