I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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