I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
