He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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