I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
