Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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