Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
