The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
