You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
