it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
