pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
