Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
