apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
