Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
