while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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