Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
