too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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