dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
