So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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