after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
